the sun was still below the horizon, the sky gradually shifting from light grey into colors. the air was crisp and the noise of the city was muted, the traffic below barely an occasional whisper or hum. within the hour the whole city would be awake and on the move. for now, it breathed quietly to itself and hoped it could hit the snooze button one more time.

Joe Chin stood on the roof of his building, toying with a home rolled cigarette. he toiled with it a bit, making sure it was a solid roll and wouldn't come apart in his mouth. nipping it between his lips he brought out his lighter and lit it with the practice of an old army pro. anyone on a nearby building woudln't have even seen the flicker of his lighter, even if they'd be watching him directly.

the army. not too surprising the memory should come back about that now. Joe remembered all the new recruits as they came in for their medical. he'd treat them as the slabs of meat they were, poke them and prod them, weed out the few that wouldn't hack it physically. they were all so different and yet the same. some were agressive, some weak, some felt they were prepared, some just knew they weren't. None of them knew what they were really in for. none of them.

Joe always understood the ones that were afraid up front, and understood even more the tough looking ones with their front of bravado and machismo. the ones joe never understood were the one with the stupid grins on their face. the chipper ones, he always of of them. chipper, like they were signing up for something great. something cool and exciting.

those were always the problematic ones. they were the ones the seargents had to break the hardest. they had hopes, dreams, and ideals. all things that had no place in the military, no matter what the advertising might have said. cheerful boys with ideals and hopes and dreams had a bad habit of thinking for themselves, and in a firefight that'll get you killed. seargents worked hard to break them of the bad habit of smiling, replacing their hopes and dreams with grim fear and determination. hope will make you stand up proud and get your damn fool head shot off. fear will keep your head down, maybe keep you alive another day.

joe turned around to look at his ... pupil. student. recruit. none of that quite fit. he'd have to find some way of addressing the boy, but in the meantime ...

the boy knelt before him, a neatly folded bundle of energy and expectation. he could practically smell the youth and potential off of him, hands dutifully on his knees, eager smile of expectation on his lips.

chipper

chip

"okay, little chip, are we ready for our first lesson?"

the boy nodded, either ignoring or automatically accepting his master's term for him.

"stand up then."

the boy eagerly scrambled to his feet.

"ready?"

the boy nodded once... and found himself staring at the sky, his breathe gone and his back on fire. tears began to fill his eyes.

joe's face came into view overhead.

"had enough?"

Eric blinked his eyes rapidly, fighting off tears. Joe offered him a hand and Eric took it, rising into a sitting position, resting against the rooftop access door. Joe took a few steps back and sat down, crosslegged, as Eric got his breath back.

Joe sighed.

"Do you remember the day you first learned to walk?"

Eric frowned, thought a bit, and shook his head.

"no, of course not. nobody does. some days, though, i think it would be better if we did."

the confusion was evident on eric's face, but he was listening. Joe took a drag from his cigarette, the cherry somehow no brighter than the predawn light on the horizon. removing the butt from his lips he exhaled in another sigh.

"if we could all remember we might learn something. You won't remember, and I wasn't there to see you, but I can guarantee you fell. A lot. and it hurt. Maybe you banged your head, or landed on your arm wrong, but I can guarantee that learning to walk was a painful experience. you failed, and often. and every failure came with it's own cost in pain and tears. And yet... here we are today. Walking, running, jumping... we don't even think about it."

Eric continued to listen, rapt with attention. Joe squinted and pointed at him, cigarette wreathing his fingers in smoke.

"Why? Why did we do it? Why didn't we quit? It hurt, it hurt like hell, and it was hard. So why didn't we give up, little chip? Why did we persevere?"

Eric leaned in, expectant.

"We did it for the cookie."

Eric blinked. "What?"

Joe held his gaze a few seconds longer, finger pointed at Eric with grave sincerity, before a grin finally broke through. Before long he was laughing out loud, smoke pouring from his mouth as he wiped tears from his face.

Eric's cheeks burned with embarrassment... and a little anger.

Joe waved him down as he regained his composure.

"Take it easy, little chip, i wasn't making fun of you. it may be funny up front, but let me explain and you'll see that i'm serious."

Eric relaxed and Joe took another drag on his cigarette.

"The Cookie is just a convenient way of labelling all the stuff we wanted but couldn't have. as exciting as the new world might have been to us we quickly learned that all the truly exciting stuff was always kept out of reach. all the adult toys and shiny things that our parents didn't want us to have, from knives to cookies. and we quickly and correctly surmised that the only way we could get to them is if we improved our reach... which meant standing up and walking."

Eric nodded, understanding dawning on him. Joe sat back and regarded him carefully, all traces of amusment gone.

"So... you know how this going to go. It's going to hurt. It's going to be hard, and it's going to hurt. A lot."

Eric stared back, intent.

"What you have to decide, right here and now, is why you want it. Why you'll want to continue. Because if you don't know now, then by the time I have you balancing rocks in mid air and pulling your shiny x-wing out of the swamp you'll be wondering 'why the hell am I doing this?', you won't have an answer.... and you'll quit."

Eric's gaze wavered then, unsure. He looked off into the distance, lost in thought. Joe stood up and regarded him with severity.

"So, my young 'padawan', what will it be? Why are you doing this? What reason will keep you getting back up off the ground, bruised and tired, willing to face me again?"

Eric didn't take nearly as long to think about it as Joe expected. He turned back, his face lit and glowing with the dawn's sunlight knifing it's way between the clouds and the horizon. Joe could swear he saw the kid's face glow.

"I want to be the hero."

Joe's shoulders slumped a little. Chipper.

"Very well, little chip. Get up and we will continue."

Within seconds Eric found himself flat on his back again, the air gone from his lungs and his back screaming. But he got up, wiped his eyes, and faced his master, ready to continue.